Saturday, November 8, 2008

why I'm going to Portland (and taking the show with me)

Because I'm sick of the grime.
Because I'm sick of the struggle.
Because this place is freighted with a lot of bad memories for me, and I want a fresh start.
Because 3/4ths of my kitchen stuff is out there anyway.
Because, the other day, when I was walking September, these two bus drivers came and started dumping their trash in the dog run. I was like, there's a dumpster a block and a half down! And they were like, Hey, that's New York City. And I think that's kind of a shitty way to treat the place you live.
Because that was in Queens, where my time is running out, and the prospect of finding a new place in Brooklyn is both daunting and expensive.
Because my folks are just over 60, so if I want to move west, now's the time, because I'll be the one to come back and take care of them when the time comes.
Because I love to ride a bike, and I'd like it not to be a death race.
Because it takes me a jay and two glasses of wine to calm down from the traffic here after I get home.
Because when I asked my accountant, he said, "I hate it here. I'd leave if I could."
Because when I asked my lawyer, she said, "New York is tough right now. There isn't a lot of work, but prices aren't coming down. And Portland might be a receptive place for Feed Me."
Because I think, despite the recession, it's a place full of smart, well-intentioned young people, and, when you put enough of those together, something good will happen.
Because I want a yard.
Because I don't mind the rain.
Because when I wrote to this guy who does a Portland-based web series about wanting to shoot a trial Feed Me episode when I was out there, he was full of offers of help.
Because a friend of a friend, who I've never met before, is full of offers of help to hook me up with tech work there.
Because my heart is slow to turn from place to place, and, even though the rug got pulled out from under me, I'd finally made my peace with moving there.
Because, ok, I'm still hung up on my ex, and still a little hopeful, and I know that's the wrong reason, but I'm willing to live with the consequences.
Because the cost of living is lower. (I'd seriously consider SF, but that's NYC-expensive.)
Because I finally feel willing to sacrifice some diversity in exchange for people being nice to each other.
Because the produce, meat, and fish there are gorgeous.
Because it's got the best Mexican food I've had anywhere outside Mexico.
Because "I'm tired of sucking the cock of this cold, cold city." (Thanks, Kevin Barnes.)
Because I moved to NYC during Monicagate, lived out the Bush years in Brooklyn, and I hear the mandate for Change.
Because I feel like I have to swallow my fear and do it.
Because when I pick up my collected Allen Ginsburg, it falls open to poems I haven't read before, and they're about Oregon.
Because ever since I was a kid, I've loved riding my bike in the rain.

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